Green Gamer Girl

Quatloos are a girls best friend

Thursday, January 26, 2006

She's a Villian

I couldn't resist making a Connie character in City of Villians. Only problem was she was too boring to play, so I deleted her Digital Smugness.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Connie. So very horrible. Can shrivel a dick from 50 paces.

I'm enjoying the current AOL campaign, a piece of inspired advertising which throws up different takes on whether or not the internet is a good thing. Using the voice of John Hurt, the original actor who played Winston in the film version of 1984, the narration says either 'Orwell was wrong' Or 'Orwell was right' whilst showing the positive and negative sides of internet culture.
Alternately uplifting and terrifying, the ad campaign is a million miles away from the truly awful AOL Dominatrix, Connie (above) and of course then there was the dreadful cheap Elvis campaign and the badly acted Vanessa (spoilt child actor, do you even remember seeing it?) campaign.

Suddenly there is this inspired piece of film, urging us quietly to /discuss, the merits or madness of the internet, people like Will Self, Desmond Morris and Alastair Campbell are on board to give their views.
Excited, you go to AOL's website... and are greeting with the familiar cluttered mishmash which is AOL and you know that yep, you were right.
AOL is still shit.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Star Wars Knight of the Old Republic II

Set five years after the bestselling Knights of the Old Republic, Sith Lords have slaughtered the Jedi in an attempt to end the Old Republic. You get to choose one of three kinds of Jedi, with unique abilities and you get a group of characters to interact with and play as.

There is this character Atton Rand. Atton thinks he is sexy.

Atton - what a beast

Now Atton is pretty cute, but I don't really want to date him, especially as I've seen him in his underwear and it's just not happening down there. Nevertherless, it doesn't stop him wisecracking his way through your adventures and trying to get your clothes off.

Adam doesn't like him.

Then there is Kreia, an old force sensitive hag, who is played by Dahlia from Silent Hill.

Kreia - lovely grandmother, she gives you a cookie if you help her feed all her cats

Dahlia is getting less work as she gets older, and I suspect it is because of the gin.

Dahlia from Silent Hill - makes you feel all warm inside

Black and White 2

I'm a bit of an inept player. Not terrible, you understand, but not the greatest either. A game has to really capture my attention for me to finish it. My favourite games are MMORPG's, where you learn, rinse and repeat until you are good at what you do.

Black and White 2 is interesting though.

You play a God, who along with a complex AI creature, build a civilization, and an army and then conquer other lands. There is a choice of four creatures, a lion, a cow, an ape (ginger) and a wolf. You can also have an option for a tiger with a special unlocking key.

I chose the nice wolf. He looked cute. He growled and whimpered and behaved well with some firm training and some reassuring petting. All was well, the land was sunny, the villagers were happily ploughing the land and having babies and building houses.

So I went to have a bath.

Upon my return, thunderclouds swirled round the land, the wolf had eaten some of the villagers, pooed on the houses and the the survivors were screaming.

''Perhaps you shouldn't leave it running?'' suggested Adam. Thanks.

Dont Flirt and Fight

I'm just laughing about something I remembered a fellow gamer telling me. He used to often have cyber sex with his online girlfriend, and one day was doing so via a private chat whilst at the same time fighting with a team of hunters.
He got his chat menus mixed up and accidentally ended up telling the fighting group the details of his planned perv session.

I laughed for ages and then finally asked him what their reaction was.
He said there was a stunned silence for a few minutes. He was horrified.

Horrified, I tell you.

Missing Star Wars Galaxies and How to Kill your Sims

Ok City of Villians first impressions. It's not Star Wars.
I'm in mourning. Its a valid thing.
I'll get to the City of Villians experience soon enough, don't worry. I'm quite committed to making it work, and I have a very nice set of characters that I am levelling.

After playing SWG (Star Wars Galaxies) for long enough to get a happy Imperial Bounty Hunter/ Combat Medic lvl 80 character, plus several beautifully decorated houses, enough vehicles to become a used speeder salesman, and enough weapons to be arrested, I finally cancelled my account after the controversial and quite frankly rubbish game overhaul they put us through at the end of last year (2005)

Everyone knows what happened and there is enough crying about it on enough websites for me not to go on and on and on and on about it here. (Although I might go on a little teeny bit)

But I miss it. I miss the fighting and the fun I had healing the injured players. I miss being a momma to teams of Noobs, taking them out and showing them round and helping them get their XP. I miss the ambient way I could just drive around in the rain on Dantooine and go shopping for furniture or clothes, weapons and shiny new armor, and was in serious negotations to acquire a baby Bantha (it was soooo cute) when it all went crappy. My Bantha trader had cancelled his account. So had my weaponsmith. Along with my RP friends.

I think my tailor, the Exquisite Mexia Firesun, aka Madame Makeover, still has her boutiques there, visiting her was a truly lovely experience, especially as in the real world people who work in clothes boutiques normally ignore me whilst reading Heat magazine, let alone are able to give me advice on the stats of my armor or what to do when a Wookie is asking you to marry him, and you just know that you'll have horrible furballs in the bed if you do.

I don't miss the endless grind for XP, killing the Pickets (Giraffe type things) and the Bols (Dhino hybrid lumps) or the Pillocks and Bastards as we renamed them. True, it got more interesting killing Nudfers (more lumps) and Tortons (even bigger lumps) on one of the more dangerous planets, but really, it was the community that made it special.

Oh and did I mention the houses? I loved decorating the houses. Great thing to do when you can't sleep. Now before you start thinking I would be better off playing the Sim's, I do miss the carnage and being a loyal Imperial servant of our Glorious Leader, and I miss very much having a big gun. (Even if I was wearing an evening dress sometimes) Plus the only good thing about the Sim's as far as I could see after playing it for a day before getting bored of it, was that you could make characters that looked like your ex partners, put them all in a house, take all the toilets and beds away, (so they have to piss on the floor and can't sleep) give them multiple coffee machines (so they have to stay awake) and ovens, ovens, lots of ovens. Block all the doors to the house so they can't get out, and then watch them die one by one, as the ovens caught fire.
Then they cry and cry. How you laugh.

There is a most wonderful site on how to do this and more at

But enough about killing your Sims. No actually, a bit more. At the end of the carnage, when the last Sim is standing, weeping over the multiple deaths of his friends in the Big Brother house, give him a set of Pink Flamingos and some balloons to cheer him up.

The Lagg Dolls

'I've seen women get ragged on by other women just because they enjoyed a good fragging here and there.' DekaGreen posted on

Now obviously I spent about 3 minutes (long long minutes) laughing at that.

I had been looking for info about the Frag Dolls

Yep, the Slag Dolls, Ubisofts all girl game gang (bang?)
Yep, pretty girls who enjoy gaming and specifically like to enjoy showing the guys how hot and hard they are as rare girl gamers.

The Cragg Dolls might be strategically placed 'models' who's blogs are written by short fat hairy guys.


Too early in my research to say. I do know that the Hag Dolls are recruited by Games Developer Ubisoft (Splinter Cell, King Kong, Prince of Persia) to promote their games.

Here is the quote from Brag Doll 'Rhoulette's' blog about their connection with Ubisoft

''The Frag Dolls are a group of girl gamers brought together by Ubisoft to play and promote games. It’s much like a sports sponsorship in which a company helps the athlete do what she does best. Ubisoft asks us to be informed about certain games so that we can talk about and play them well. In exchange, we’re supported in playing video games, competing, going to events all over the country, writing our own editorial blogs about whatever, being involved in online communities, and generally representing girl gamers by being ourselves. Because this is a community outreach effort on Ubisoft’s part as much as it is anything else, we have a mutually beneficial relationship.

The recruitment process was straightforward. The Craig's List ''casting call'' for girl gamers was posted. Respondents went through a multi-stage interview process in which the coordinators and candidates discussed the project’s overall goals and direction. In the final interview stage each candidate’s gaming skills were tested via Xbox Live. The competition was intense and final offers were made to the cream of the crop.''

So they are manufactured as a group. They insist they are authentic girl gamers, which is probably true, and if not at the beginning, they certainly will be now because of all the appearances they have to make. From what I'm reading they compete in tournaments and hurt little boys.

It's probably a great job to have. Lots of free games and offers of sex from hairy men.
Lucky Spag Bols, with the enthusiasm of cheerleaders they talk about how much they like to beat the boys. ('beat' being the operative perv word)
But they talk about it all in a way that makes it all seem so...plastic and professional.

Anyway I'll read up on them a bit more before being a complete bitch about them. I suppose the question is, are they irritating because there isn't a single minging girl amongst them? Or is it that they wouldn't have formed organically? Or is it that I hate boy bands and girl groups that are thrown together by a Svengali. be a cool gamer girl, do you have to be pretty too? I dunno, I dunno... It's all marketing. Make a buck. Buy a fuck.

Gamers and Depression

An interesting article about Gamers and Depression

Now I am depressed for long periods at a time, and I am a gamer, and for a while I was depressed about how much time I was spending gaming, until I decided try to make my avocation my vocation. But for a while there, I was beginning to think I was making everything worse in the world by spending so much time gaming. But I was making things nicer in the online world, and really what difference does it make which one I spend my time in as long as it is with people?

Feeling the Flow

I'm watching that programme about the aspiring fashion designers whilst waiting for City of Villians to load and it's so wrong.
Fashion designers have the easiest job in the world. I could do that job if the people in the industry didn't look so horrible... And if I was interested. Oh and if I knew about making clothes, which I don't. What am I saying? I don't want to be a fashion designer.
Now I'm beginning to wonder if its the people in industries like that who are nasty, or if it is just the students. I think it is the students.

Adam Skull King is playing already. He's feeling down and the best way to deal with feeling down is to knock the fuck out of something large and fanged. Add a few encouraging teammates, throw in a bit of XP, hope that there is no lag and log on. Lose 3 hours in the flow.

A nice little definition of Flow - stolen from Jesper Juul's website

The concept of flow (Csikszentmihalyi 1990) describes an optimal mental state where a person is complete occupied with a task that matches the person's skills, being neither too hard (leading to anxiety) or easy (leading to boredom).

Flow has seven traits:

A challenging Activity That Requires Skills
The Merging of Action and Awareness
Clear Goals and Feedback
Concentration on the Task at Hand
The Paradox of Control
The loss of Self-Consciousness
The Transformation of Time

It's so obvious isn't it? Fun is simple.